Missio dei

Bear Porridge, a complement.

2009-09-17T17:33:00.002-05:00

The following is from a conversation last night with my friend Will.

Here’s the Setup: It’s about 4 am Wednesday night. Will and I are eating soup in my dining room.

Will: “Well, (Shamanabelle) was my first girlfriend, and she wasn’t much fun. She was a crazy Christian who wouldn’t let me kiss her and it sucked. So here I am with my first girlfriend and we can’t make out ever. Then I dated (Shmacy) and she was a make out freak. She wanted it all the time and I didn’t really. That’s why I was so excited when I met you. You were a totally cool Christian chick and…

Me: “And what? Easy? Gee, thanks Will.”

Will: “Not ‘easy’. I would say you were “just right”. Like the porridge in the three bears story. You were the perfect porridge.”

Me (Laughing): “Wow, Will I don’t think I’ve ever been compared to breakfast before…I don’t know what to say.”

Will: “Hey, It’s a complement! We’re talking bear porridge here. Bear porridge isn’t your run-of-the-mill porridge. I mean, I bet you make pretty good porridge, but it’s probably nothing like bear porridge. “

Me (Laughing harder): “Well, that’s just great will.”

Will: “And! It comes in a bear bowl! You can’t just find Bear bowls anywhere, they’re special! Do you know how big a bear bowl is?! It’s a lot....... (Silence)........ But I’m not calling you fat or anything!!”

Me (Laughing even harder):“Just stop.”

Things are better!

2009-09-17T14:05:00.001-05:00

"I guess you're only allowed a certain number of tears for one man and I used mine up". - Carrie Bradshaw

Sad music came on yesterday and I didn't implode. Hallelujah!

When the worlds all as it should be...

2009-09-12T17:10:00.005-05:00

Blessed be the name of the Lord!

This week has been filled with so many amazing blessings.

Krystal, Jenn, and Annie came down for labor day weekend and we had the best time ever. Some of my favorite quotes of Friday night were:

"Hey, do I have a camel toe?"
"This is going to blow his mind"
and "I think my favorite part was pushing that dancing guy", "yeah, Annie was all bows". (elbows)

At one point I was sitting outside a bar (sitting on someone's car outside a bar) eating a wonderful taco when I met "Alabama boy".

AB and I started chatting outside the bar then moved it inside when I finished my taco and he, his cigarette. Conversation started off casual, then somewhere (and I don't know where) turned into a theological debate. OH!, that's right, someone walked by with a "Coexists" tattoo. For some reason he showed it to me, and I grabbed it, went, "Lame!" and then pressed the Christian cross that forms the 't' and shouted, "That's where it's at!." For some reason, he thought this was rude and scoffed off. And the rest of the night AB was telling me why he doesn't believe that God exists while I gushed over who the Lord is, and called AB silly.

We went drinking, ate crepes, shopped and had late night sleepovers in the living room. And did a drunken retelling of the story of Cain and Able. (not pretty).

Then we met up with Keilly who was also in town. She's lived in America I don't know how long, but still took a million pictures.

***

So last night I hung out with an old friend from high school. We were pretty good friends for about a year or so, and actually dated for a short time. I had forgotten most of the dating part and only remembered our friendship, (minus the time his dad walked in on us making out). I'm still humiliated by that to this day. Well, apparently he remembered more than I did. Like how we were valentines and had an amazing day together, until I hooked up with my ex at the end of the night. I had completely forgotten this happened, and apologized repeatedly. I can't believe that's who I was. The retelling of this story made me sick to my stomach.

We had a great night, (about 9 hours). But at one point while watching a movie on my couch, I was seriously tempted to crawl over and lay on his chest. The thought was so seducing. I knew that it would feel great,warm and familiar. And it took all the will power in the world not to. But then something interesting happened. After deciding "No" in my head, It's like the blinders were lifted and I saw the truth: That it wouldn't have made me feel good at all. I felt like a had totally exposed a lie. It probably would have been really awkward, and even if he would have been into it, what would that have meant for our hangouts in the future? It would have turned our friendship into a confusing mess, and I would have become the same, selfish girl I was in high school.

It was the most amazing revelation. The feeling of temptation was so strong, and intoxicating. I litterlly felt warm. Then all at once, poof!, it was all gone and I was completely sober to the situation and got kind grossed out. Not because of him, but because of sin. The idea of sinning in that way really grossed me out and I wanted no part of it.

I can't express enough in words the work the Lord has done. Anyone who has known me longer than a year can see Christ and His strength and love in this.

Tables

2009-08-29T23:21:00.006-05:00

(Table 86)
A young family
Me: To the guy wearing a shirt that says "college", "So, are you in college?"
Guy: "Yeah, I graduate in a year, you?"
Me: "Nope, I'm a post-grad waitress. What are you studying?"
Guy: "I'm studying to be a pastor, what did you study?"
Me: "Psychology and Sociology. I want to do marital counseling on the mission field...."

yada yada yada........

Guy: "I'm involved with the international missions group at Austin Stone*. Come talk to me Sunday, and I'll introduce you to the guys in charge, they would eat you up. I'm so happy we met, this is awesome"

5 seconds later....

(Table 76)
A group of old men talking about church business
Old man: "Say girl, you're so young, are you school?"
Me: "Nope, I graduated"
Old man: "What do you want to do for a living?"
Me: "Eventually I want to counsel missionary couples on the mission field. Right now, I'm on mission in Austin."
Old man: "Little girl, you have blessed me. Can I shake your hand?"
Me: "Of course!"
So he grabbed my hand and said, "Praise Him!" and all the other old men agreed.

It was a great day.

*Austin Stone is what I call "The Austin Village". It's the church that I recently started to attend, and love. My first Sunday Matt (the pastor and bff of matt chandler) said, "If this is your first night here, sorry...." and used the entire hour to inform his congregation on how much emphasis the church puts on missions. How much money they spend, and how many people they support overseas. Who cried? This girl.

Not I, But Christ

2009-08-22T23:16:00.001-05:00

I am so grateful for the promises of God.

Packing all my belongings (clothes, pictures, a t.v. and a lamp) and moving to a new city was a really awesome idea, until I was sitting alone in my apartment after a horrible first day of work. I thought to myself, "I'm not going to make it" and I started to worry about what would happen if I failed. I thought about how my mother was right, I should have played it safe and lived in San Antonio. I was sure I was going to be fired from my job, evicted, and leave Austin thousands of dollars in debt. Then I remembered: "I will never leave you nor forsake you", "Do not be afraid, I am with you, wherever you go".

I belong to God.

He holds my entire life in His hands, and nothing will happen to me that doesn't slip past his fingers. Then all the fear washed away. So what if I get fired? So what if I fail? The Lord is on my side and he has promised to work all things for good for those who love Him. I love Him. Done.

Whatever happends here happens to bring Him glory.

I went to work and on my last day of training I made a killing in tips, which I had to give all to my trainer. My first day on the job, I made peanuts and my car broke down. This is the day that the Lord has made.

A conversation with my sister:

2009-08-21T00:59:00.000-05:00

I'm decorating my living room when my 13 year old sister walks in and says...

Yani, "Do you want to know what I think of your ex boyfriends?"

Me, "Uh...Yeah."

Yani, "Well if I had to rate them from greatest to least I would say, ' Will, Shawn, then Michael'.

Me, "You didn't like Michael?"

Yani, "No. I remember when we were playing wii and I lost and said, 'ah, crap' and he told me to calm down and I thought, "I don't like you".

This wii incident was over two years ago. Don't cross my sister, man. She can hold a grudge.

Your new life starts...now

2009-08-21T00:39:00.000-05:00

I'm a week into my fresh start in Austin, Texas.

Lessons learned thus far:

1. Furniture is expensive.

2. A dvd player can ward off loneliness for about 4 hours a day max.

3. Do your own alterations. It might be quaint to take your pants to a russian seamstress to hem, but it's overpriced.

4. Despite your best efforts, your luggage isn't the only baggage you bring with you.

5. The Lord sustains me.